The Rules of Friendship and The Secret of Influence

I want to begin by attempting to define friendship. What is friendship? Friendship is an association between two individuals with a goal of influencing each other whether stated or implied. Not everyone you call your friend is your friend in the actual sense. You cannot be friends with everyone. In friendship, there is a commitment. You cannot possibly commit to everyone. The problem is that we lack the word to categorize the relationships we have; therefore, we call everyone our friends. There are some that are acquaintances and we call them friends. Most people we call friends are our acquaintance. We talk to them; we know them but not deeply. We check up on them occasionally. These people are not qualified to be called friends. I also believe that as friendship progresses, there are degrees of friendship, close friends, best friend, casual friends, etc. Real friendship is not casual. Real friendship is deeper than that. In friendship, there is a seen or unseen influence, because there is an opening up of yourself to that person you call your friend. That is why Jesus said in John 15:15, Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  In friendship, there is an unstated agreement of both of your spirits, for two cannot walk together except they agree, the bible says (Amos 3:3). Therefore, you have to be careful about who you bring close to you and who you call your friends. You cannot be reckless in choosing your friends. You must discern the kind of influence and the spirit they carry. Charlie Jones said you will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the books you read and the friends you keep (Paraphrasing).

© 2019 Love N.

 In friendship, a part of you rubs off on your friend that’s why the bible said in Proverbs 27:17, Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. In friendship, there is a fellowship or communion of spirits. I don’t mean to sound deep, but I am explaining to you the mechanism or the system of friendship. The cheapest way the enemy can get to you if there is no other way is through the one close to you because there is an open line of influence between you and the one close to you. I may not have the time and the space to go deep on this aspect of friendship, but I will try to summarize it. What do you think happened to Elizabeth when Mary came to her and greeted her? Why did the baby in her womb leap for Joy? There was an identification and recognition of that which Mary carried on her inside and there was an agreement in the realm of the spirit. What they both carried on the inside had an agreement. Do you ever wonder how two friends begin to act or behave alike? It is due to that influence in friendship. Evil communication corrupts good manners. When you begin to wonder why certain people have changed, check who they are close to or who they are listening and spending time with. When people connect and contact the spirit you carry, they will automatically begin to act and do the things you do unintentionally. I won’t go deeper than this. Let’s look at The Rules of Friendship:

1. Friendship is the expression of love and COMMITMENT to another person. It is an agreement to ensure the progress of another. You must be committed to the success of that person you call your friend.

2. There is no friendship without SACRIFICE.  Jesus said in John 15:13 (TPT), For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends.  You must be ready to make sacrifices.

3. “What two or three shall agree”, God’s plan was never for us to walk through life alone, for even God does not walk alone. God will strategically position people of like mind on your path to help you in your journey and what he has called you to do.

4. Destiny helpers come disguised as friends. Ask David about Jonathan. Be careful to discern them.

5. Friendship demands consistency and stability even in times of difficulty. Don’t be a friend who is unreliable as a seasonal brook (Job 6:15-23).

6. Don’t be that Friend who is only interested in people for what they can benefit from them. This is a NO-NO for me. Selfishness and foolishness is when you remember your friend only when you need help. Don’t be a parasite to your friend or always be on the receiving end. There is something everyone can give. You need wisdom!

7. Let your success rub off on your friend. As you go up in life, carry your friends along.

8. The best thing you can do for your friends is to pray for them! Don’t just pray for them, pray with them. Make your friendship a praying relationship.

9. Most times, friends become the brother or the sister we never had. A real friend sticks closer than a brother (Prov18:24).

10. You owe your friend kindness (Job 6:14).

11. Finally, Friendship is a treasure. Be careful of your association. The right association can build you and the wrong association can destroy you.

I am sure you have been blessed! Please share with your friends.

Love you!

Love N.